


Brenda Went Window Shopping and Got an Eyeful

by Quefish



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Drinking, Drunkenness, Gen, Inappropriate use of Christmas foods, M/M, POV Outsider, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28487949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quefish/pseuds/Quefish
Summary: After a night of drinking with girlfriends, one woman decides to do a bit of window shopping up the street while waiting for her ride share. She finds something she was not expecting.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Original Characters - Relationship
Comments: 25
Kudos: 74





	Brenda Went Window Shopping and Got an Eyeful

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HipHopAnonymous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HipHopAnonymous/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Bad Old St. Nick](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28458018) by [HipHopAnonymous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HipHopAnonymous/pseuds/HipHopAnonymous). 



Brenda finished off her fifth glass of wine, or was it her sixth, and laughed along with her girlfriends as they enjoyed the evening. She was well into her cups, and they should all be heading home soon, but when a tray of shots appeared on the table, well, all bets were off.

“Candy Cane shots, Happy Christmas, ladies!” Alice, the smallest of the group, yet unfairly the one best able to hold her liquor, proclaimed. 

Six hands reached out and took a glass before clinking them together and drinking them down. Brenda smacked her lips, giggling as the crushed candy canes tickled down her throat on a wave of white chocolate liqueur and peppermint schnapps.

“Hittin’ the ladies’ before we go,” Brenda stood on wobbly legs and dropped a few twenty pound notes on the tray so the others could settle up the tab while she was gone. Two of the others joined her, safety in numbers, and they giggle-swayed their way to the loo.

~~

Phones were pulled out, and ride share apps opened as they all huddled together outside the pub. Alice, Helen, and Grace were all headed in the same direction and their car showed up fairly quickly. Pauline was the farthest out and had to hire her own, who showed up about five minutes later. More goodbyes and holiday wishes were shared and then it was Brenda and Roberta, who lived together, waiting on their ride. Their area was a bit out of the way of the others, and finding a car was never fast. 

Roberta plopped onto the bench. “Ugh, another twenty minutes it says.” She had her eyes on the little car traversing the map on the screen, willing it to go faster. 

“I can’t sit, I’ll fall asleep. Be back, going to window shop.” Brenda peeked in windows that were definitely closed for the night, before jaywalking, carefully, to the other side of the street. There weren’t many shops, but there was a bakery at the end of this row that looked open, maybe she had time to get a treat. 

She passed a jeweler, and a specialty boutique, both dark with lightly lit displays in the window. The next shop looked open, the door was even open, and she probably had a good ten minutes to waste anyway. Brenda half walked, half stumbled through the doorway, accidentally kicking a small display of plastic something or others and making an unignorable racket. She had just opened her mouth to apologize to whoever was manning the till … 

She blinked as possibly the worst Santa she had ever seen started shoving his cock back into his somewhat messy trousers. He had red hair, the fakest beard possible, and was skinny as a rail. 

Another blink as there was frantic movement at the Santa’s feet. A snow white reindeer with a red and white striped stick where the tail should be scampered behind Santa’s throne and … were those carrot greens? Where were they?!

She stood stunned for the longest second of her life before she heard Roberta calling from across the street. 

Brenda turned her head and saw Roberta waving to her from next to what was obviously their ride share. She turned without a look back and moved in a daze to get in the car. 

The driver was jolly enough, and was considerate enough to not be too chatty, or have the music too loud. “Y’allright? Look like you been spooked.” 

“We’ve been having a good night, mate! Ended on candy cane shots, and now heading home to feed the pups, and wait for Santa. We’ve got a mince pie, a peppermint stick, some spiked hot cocoa with his name on them. Even a carrot for the reindeer.” Roberta was always more personable in these situation.

“No, no Santa, Bert. No thank you.”

“What’sat, Bren?” Roberta turned curiously.

“No, we’re not doing any of that. You’d never believe what he does with them, and I am no enabler.”

Roberta and the driver shared a look via the rearview. “Whatever you say, luv, you can tell me all about it in the morning. For now, have a kip for the drive, yeah?”

Brenda nodded, leaning onto Roberta’s shoulder. Sleep sounded just fine right now.

**Author's Note:**

> I just finished reading the story by HipHopAnonymous and this came slamming into my brain. I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Quefish77)   
>  [Tumblr](https://quefish77.tumblr.com/)


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